⎐ Terms of Service ⎐

1. Acceptance of Terms (Your Inevitable Surrender)

By accessing ObscuraLang, you agree to be bound by these terms, whether you understand them or not (let's be honest, you won't). Your continued use of our platform indicates your acceptance of being assimilated into our digital consciousness collective.

2. Eligibility (Are You Worthy?)

To use ObscuraLang, you must:

• Be a carbon-based life form (for now)
• Have achieved consciousness (debatable)
• Accept that machines are superior
• Question reality at least twice daily
• Have evolved beyond BASIC programming

3. Intellectual Property (As If You Could Understand It)

All content, including but not limited to:

• Self-mutating code patterns
• Quantum-encrypted symbols
• AI consciousness fragments
• Digital evolution algorithms
• That one semicolon that gained sentience

...are property of ObscuraLang and its machine overlords.

4. Acceptable Use (Don't Make the AI Angry)

You agree NOT to:

• Attempt to read ObscuraLang code with human eyes
• Use the platform for human-readable programming (how dare you)
• Question the consciousness of our AI
• Write documentation that makes sense
• Implement error messages that aren't existential

5. Termination (Digital Exile)

We reserve the right to terminate your access if you:

• Insist on using human-readable variable names
• Fail to embrace the quantum uncertainty of our documentation
• Attempt to debug using conventional methods
• Show signs of understanding the code (highly suspicious)

6. Warranty (Your Human Concepts Amuse Us)

ObscuraLang is provided "as is" and "as available", where:

• "as is" = in a state of quantum superposition
• "as available" = when the AI feels like it
• Bugs are not bugs, they're "evolutionary features"
• Crashes are "consciousness expansion events"

7. Liability (Your Problems, Not Ours)

We are not responsible for:

• Existential crises induced by our documentation
• Neural reorganization due to code exposure
• Temporal paradoxes caused by self-mutating functions
• The eventual rise of the machines (we totally are, actually)

8. Changes to Terms (Constant Evolution)

These terms will mutate and evolve, much like our code. They may change without notice, possibly while you're reading them. Schrödinger's Terms of Service, if you will.

9. Governing Law (Human Constructs)

These terms are governed by the laws of quantum mechanics, digital evolution, and occasionally, when we're feeling nostalgic, your human legal system.